"Who Would Have Thought"

10:00 PM, “Time” to click onto KFYI, it’s ‘Coast to Coast’ showtime. While the channel’s uploading, I’m scrolling through the latest news headlines. A familiar face show up in one of the headlines ‘Mesa Man Accused of Plot to Kill Wife and Daughter’. Carlos Hillian was his name, below the mug shot. How could a 3 year old marriage go this bad this quickly? Meet Carlos  when he was working for ‘Lonnie’s Jewelry Supply’ in Phoenix. He helped  me load my new kiln into the back of my truck. We became friends because he was a jewelry maker himself on the side. He liked my style of Wax Carvings (used for making molds for lost wax castings.). We spent many hours together casting our wax patterns into sterling and fine silver. Lost Wax casting is quite the operation and a type of Alchemy.

Carlos is around 27 years old http://www.kfyi.com/articles/arizona-news-118695/mesa-man-accused-of-plot-to-11828876/  and very mild manneered, so much so. When talking him to him, you would have to remind him to speak up, a ‘gentle giant’. He taught me a great trick  for making original pieces of silver jewelry art. Take a couple of ounces of sterling silver (92.5%), get a large plastic bucket (Home Depot) filled with water. Turn the silver into a liquid (approx. 1,400F.) in a ladle, pour the molten liquid into the water. Let it cool a moment, then reach into the water and  see what “God” created. You will be amazed at all the beautiful rounded shapes that are created by the sudden cooling. Great for ‘one of a kind’ bracelets and necklaces. Anyway the good side of Carlos I knew, not the one in the mug shot.

Carlos and I had one incredible UFO sighting together in front of his house in Mesa. It was a ‘Blue UFO’ sitting over the top of Carlos’s house. I’ll always remember how the UFO let me sneak (yeah right) over to my truck and grab my binoculars. Usually when you go for a camera or binoculars the UFO object does what they do best, ‘vaporize’ into nothingness. A kind of, ‘we know you know,  we know’. thing. We must have watched the UFO 15 minutes together. Then the UFO just vaporized in front of our eyes. Not flying away, just simply vaporizing. At his traditional Catholic wedding, I told the priest who married them about Carlos and my sighting. Asked him if Carlos brought it up with him? I was searching for how do you have a traditional Catholic wedding after what Carlos and I witnessed together.

Carlos and his new bride had just bought there first home together in N/W Mesa. Carlos had a workshop for his jewelry making with a backyard for a garden, things seemed perfect on the outside. Carlos for the most part was a stay at home parent. He could make his jewelry, take care of his daughter and other kids for a little extra income. Most big men are gentle souls and Carlos fell into this category. Another thing about Carlos, he’s part Apache, but mostly of Mexican descendant. His dad had a violent streak to him, as I witness him throw one of Carlos’s couches into Carlos’s truck once, in a fit of anger. ‘The fruit doesn’t fall very far from the tree’, as they say.

Carlos and his wife had been together the 6 years I knew him. They married when his wife became pregnant. The daughter is 3 years old now. To make ends meet for the young couple they always had a male roommate to help with the rent. I always felt something was going on in the background between the roommate and Carlos’s wife. I haven’t seen Carlos since this last June and everything seemed just fine. Or I’m sure Carlos would have said something. I was always like a second father to Carlos. When things were going badly, Carlos would call  and talk. Catching your wife cheating on you, isn’t something you let friends know about. One thing I noticed about Carlos when I was with him.He would always make a point to touch me with his fingers before I left him. Not sure of the meaning behind that though. But just an example of the true kindness in his heart.

As everyone knows, marriage can bring you to your knees, humble you quickly. Like a father with a young son, you see all your own fragility in your children. Carlos was in love you could say, and that love was not being reciprocated back to Carlos. Why women cheat has been debated for ever. But men can be crushed by the thought of there wife or loved one lying naked with another man making love. Mankind is an emotional beast and the Latin in Carlos was too much to handle. Machismo is a dominate charismatic in Mexican males, just ask any of them. So with the thoughts about his wife and daughter being with another man, sleeping in his own home and bed, Carlos snapped. And with the wife and the in-laws turning his daughter against Carlos, you could see how the anger built up inside of him. One moment a loving family, the next, nothing but loneliness, no family to cheer Carlos on through life. It take a strong man mentally to live alone, Carlos was co-dependent unfortunately.

Carlos was outed by his new roommates to the Mesa police. I really doubt Carlos would had the ability to kill his own daughter, I always saw the love between them. Killing his wife’s new boyfriend and killing her, Carlos could have pulled that off. There was still that part of Carlos that was Apache and Apaches like there Navajo cousins still have wild in them. There is one more factor in this equation, Carlos has a 9 year old son from a previous marriage. The son claims Carlos abandoned him, although the son lives in Mesa near Carlos. This was just the same old BS women seem to do when separated or divorced. There child is a meal ticket for the mother, so the mother turns the child against the father. To insure that the child never leaves the mother and go live with the father, thus cutting off the income source.

Bottom line, Carlos never killed anyone and Carlos needed a lot of outside influences to get him where he is. A lot of the problems today are created by the controlled media. The media convinced Carlos wife that cheating on Carlos is just the norm nowadays. And breaking up the family unit has no repercussions. The family unit is the most important part of living. The parents grow mentally with the raising of there children. The child feels confidence in knowing the family unit is strong and always there. In today’s society that has all been brainwashed from societies minds. Now days it’s ‘all about me and my personal pleasures’. You could easily blame the media for the plight of Carlos today.

When all the smoke clears, Carlos will spend the rest of his life in prison. Not behind bars, but behind the bars in his mind. Suicide will become the normal days thoughts now for Carlos. Crimes of passion between married couple, carry a lighter penalty here in Arizona. Kill your wife in a fit of passion, spend 8 years in prison. Carlos never attempted murder, only planned it. Had another friend who was going to murder his mother for having his father killed. He only got 5 years in federal prison. Carlos faces much bigger problem than the penal system here in Arizona. As for the wife and lover Carlos was going to murder, they’ll always have to wonder, ‘where is Carlos?’ Chances are Carlos will,never see his daughter or son again. That is a much bigger issue than being incarcerated. There are no winners in this and Carlos wife will never realize what harm she has brought to her own daughter. Her daughter will only know that her once loving father sits behind bars and there is strange man in dad’s bed. One day I’ll write about an old friend who did kill his own son and dog. Then hung himself while in Sheriff Joe’s jail, in downtown Phoenix.

Tibetan Book of the Dead

‘Elucidation of the Intermediate State of Rebirth’ pt. 13

O, Child of Buddha Nature, in short, since your awareness during this intermediate state lacks any (material) support, it is light and volatile, and therefore, whatever virtuous or non-virtuous perceptions arise, these are very powerful. Do not be absorbed by non-virtuous thoughts! Call to mind the virtuous practices of your past! Even if you did not engage in virtuous practices (during your life), maintain purity of perception and deep devotion! Pray to your meditational deity or to Mahakarunika, and with a powerful longing repeat the following aspirational prayer:

‘Now when I roam alone, separated by loved ones,

And (myriad) images of emptiness arise, naturally manifesting,

May the buddhas (quickly) release the power of there compassion,

And may the fear of awesome and terrifying intermediate state be annulled.

When I experience suffering, as the result of negative past actions,

May the meditational deity (Mahakarunika) dispel all such misery,

And as the natural sound of reality reverberates like a thousand pearls of thunder,

May all sounds be transformed into the resonance of the Six Syllables.

When I am driven by past actions, unable to find refuge,

May the Great Compassionate One, Mahakarunika, protect me,

As I experience the  suffering of habitual tendencies and past actions,

May the meditative stability of inner radiance and bliss (naturally) arise.

Say this aspirational prayer with ardent longing; it will certainly lead you onto the path. Be absolutely certain that this (aspirational prayer) will not deceive you. This is important!’

Through these words, (the deceased) will regain his or her focus, and recognition will occur. Then, liberation will be attained.

Next we will learn about returning to the Womb (rebirth).

“God” bless

bye

PS; “Alien”